I have 6 yrs married and maybe it hasn’t been a perfect marriage because we got married so young but we have tried our best to stay together no matter what. I know that there’s no excuse for anyone to cheat on anyone and I don’t blame myself for his mistake as I don’t blame him for my mistakes.
We’ll I don’t know when all this exactly started but I get an idea, all my doubts started 2yrs ago when one day me and my husband had an argument that I thought we had fixed. Well, the next day he didn’t come home at all I got scared I call the cops, hospitals, friends, family and they were all helping me look for him till we saw him behind my apartments and he said he fell asleep in a park and that he had left there after work because he thought I was mad at him and he didn’t want to argue with me so that’s why he didn’t come home right away but that he didn’t realize that he fell asleep. He says he hadn’t cheated on me during that time but I have my doubts. I had just had my baby when all this thoughts started and I saw my husband different. We moved to another apartments when things got bad, we would argue more and he would use that as an excuse to leave and not stay home and that broke me because we had a baby to take care and I was getting depressed and he wasn’t there to help me . We had a really bad argument that I left because I saw he didn’t care for me an during that time he didn’t stay at my house so I went back and he would just show up for his clothes and when I would ask him were he was staying he said with a guy from work. During that time he would come and go for like around 3-4 months this went on and during that time he would be sleeping with me but also with her and I didn’t know that because I was trying to believe him in everything he would tell me. When I would question him he would make me feel guilty and he would tell me that the day he cheats on me that he wouldn’t come back but he would always come back so I believed him. I had to leave for a trip with my family that we just left things like that so we could think things out and during that time. I believe he was cheating on me with this old women that yeah she was 8-9yrs older than him. She works where he works at and she is a “mother” to a kid who my husband has never care. And I quote “mother” because me as a mother, if I was a single mother I would not just be looking for a man for me but an example for my kids and she fails because she knew my husband was still married, and that’s not a good real woman or mother.
My husband talked bad about the women and men at his work that were having an affair with their co-workers so what does that have to say about her. We’ll the thing is that my husband had to leave out of town for an emergency and he left her. The thing is that when I came back from my trip he wasn’t there and he would call me to let me know when he was coming back and the day he came back home he came back to me. He got home at night and he hugged me and held me tight to him and told me that he was there to stay and I believed every word he said. We had been working things out but there was something that was bothering me so I would question him if he cheated on me and he said yes. We argued and again he didn’t come home so the nightmare started again.
I went to his work and I saw him drive in with a girl and oh that just broke my heart. I got so mad I went inside the fence where he was parked and I got down and she was in my car while my husband went inside. I told her why was she in my husband car and she said her car had broken down the day before and that he gave her a ride to work and that she didn’t get down the car so I wouldn’t think bad but I noticed she was in the car so that kind of ruined that. I told her how did my husband know where to pick her up and she said that he gave her his number so he could pick her up and I was like with what number because he doesn’t have a phone, then she said oh we agree yesterday that if he could give me a ride and I told her if she didn’t know that he was married and that why would she ask a married man for a ride. She didn’t say anything after that. I question her if she was the girl he had cheated on me with and she said no all scared but at the end it turned out it was her.
The next day he left and said he had to think stuff he said he would not let anyone interfere in his decision. I told him many times that if he was going to leave me to tell me that it was better to cry for a while than for the rest of my life, but he wanted me to wait he didn’t want me working and he just wanted me home. We’ll I found out he left to her house and she took him back even though the day before I told her and reminded her that he was married. She said that he told her that he left me. I confronted them and I told her how he still had me home waiting like if he was coming back because he didn’t want to leave me even though I had told him many times to leave if that’s what he wanted to do but he never did. I told him I had lost my trust, respect for him and I didn’t want him back and that he could stay with her and I said it in front of her. She cried and told me sorry many times and I told her I believe in God and just because of that she wasn’t getting her ass kicked and that I actually felt peace inside me that I didn’t feel anger but disappointment on the man that I loved and who would tell me that he would never cheat on me and that he would never be that kind of man. So I told her I forgave her and told her what goes around comes around and worst and sad to say but it does and I don’t know how she would pay but I feel bad for her. The thing is that my husband wanted to stay with me. The next day after that he was with me. I love him so much that I took him back. I try to forgive him everyday but it’s hard but love conquers all right?
He has taken me to trips just him and me he tries to show me he cares, buys me flowers….. I feel that this shouldn’t of ever happen but know things are better than before. We talk more he cares more for my feelings he appreciates what he didn’t appreciate about me and he has made plans on getting us a house and a future for us. He did all that without me asking him. She might think he cared for her but I know him enough to know that he was just confused and that all he was getting from her was what we had lost and what he thought we might never have back. She even said that she thinks that he was looking for me because when I talked to her she realized that she had lots of thing that I was, she said it’s like he found you in me and it’s not all true but kind off I agree.
She knew he was married she didn’t think about her kid and she was a bad example for her kid. Thanks to her my kid can’t sleep at night because he’s afraid his dad won’t be there the next day. I’ve struggle to comfort him and as time has passed it has help him realize that daddy is here to stay but he also has trust issues with his dad and that’s hard because she knew he knew but like us Latinas girl say in Spanish “el hombre llega tan lejos que la mujer lo permita” meaning man go as far as the woman lets them go. She allowed this to happen, ever since she would have conversations about me with my husband at his work ever since she let him trust her, ever since she open the doors to her house ever since she let him believe that being” separated ” and still married was okay with her, ever since she took him back. She allowed all that to happen. One thing I can say no one makes no one do something they don’t want and she wanted my man that’s why she allowed that to happen so I blame her more for what my son has to deal with now and for my depression getting worse and for breaking my friendship with my husband because during that time he wasn’t talking to me that often because she was offering her friendship when he had a wife and that belonged to me not to her. He had a wife a friend at home and she took that away from me. Thanks to God we got our friendship back he has his wife and I have my husband, and we try to spend more time together than before. I love him and even that one of our vows was broken I still want to keep the rest “for better or for worse” just because one was broken don’t mean we can’t keep the rest.
She still works there were my husband works and I think she is illegal and I wish I had the strength she had to destroy a family and destroy her family by making her pay by sending ice to her work or making them fire her but I’m not evil so I just let God deal with it the best way he thinks it’s ok. I pray every day for her and I pray to forgive her. It’s hard but I have to move on my husband needs me my kids and I have to stay strong for them.
One last thing I would like for her to know is that he would have never love or taken your kid as his and it’s sad that you even allowed a man to come to your house without a commitment and influence in your kids life when he had no intention of staying or even carrying for your kid. Next time find a father for your kid not just a man and make sure he is divorce and not just separated and also date them before you bring them to your house. Don’t let men come and go inside your house like you allowed my husband to do . All I can say is that you just seem like an easy girl and maybe you are because who know how many guys you have allowed to come in your life. You are a disappointment and I can’t call you a real women or mother. I am a real mother and wife and woman because I fight for what it’s mine and not what it belongs to others
