You don’t have to be young or pretty to try and ruin a family. Almost 10 years ago, my husband asked me to meet his ex-wife, basically, I thought, to show off our two adorable children. She was unable to conceive while they were married. She was so frustrated, she cheated on him, divorced him then begged him to take her back and help her raise the kid she got pregnant with by another man. He said no, married a second time, divorced again then met me. As our relationship was getting serious, he told me he’d seen her and considered getting back together with her but decided he wanted to be with me. That was my first error in judgment in trusting him. So anyway, we married and had two sweet kids and lived all over the world, as a military family. And, stupidly, I met her at Krispy Kreme donuts in San Antonio 10 years ago when we were stationed there, at my husband’s request. I felt very secure in our marriage. Boy, was I dumb.
We, shortly after, moved to the East Coast and fast forward 9 years, I discovered text messages that uncover an emotional, romantic and sexual relationship spanning the years. My husband traveled on business once a year to San Antonio and saw her then. Did I say how trusting and unsuspecting I was? She’d married at least three times over the years, apparently always looking for the husband she’d mistakenly let go. She told my husband more recently that she felt the marriage with him had been lacking in passion and that she was bored. However, she still wanted him but he was taken. He told me recently that, over the years, he felt I was giving the children more attention than I was giving him but he never bothered to tell me that’s how he felt. Instead, he turned to her for someone to complain to about his marriage. He left text messages that I saw on January 3, 2015 professing his love for her and how he thought of her every waking moment. He texted her that she understood him so well that he felt like he was talking to a shrink when he spoke to her. Apparently, he claims they communicated by weekly phone calls, at a minimum, and many emails. All these years, we’d been raising two beautiful children, building a life together and taking lovely vacations. All the while, he claims that he was in love with both of us. He also claims that he only slept with her one time in May of 2014. He said each time he’d see her in Texas, they would go out to dinner and he would kiss her good-bye. He even went out to dinner with her and her grown daughter. One of the photographs he took was shortly before or after their sexual encounter. She boasts about what a happy day that was for her on her FB page. He also sent her gifts of flowers every year on her birthday. Sadly, I had to beg him to give me flowers.
She, apparently, ate up the lies he fed her and told him she was interested in an even more serious relationship with him, once he was divorced (for the third time). Incredibly, just a day after I found the texts and he confessed to being in love with her, he stated that he was no longer in love with her but was really just in love with the idea of her younger self. Nice try! He now says he loves me and wants the marriage to work. He says he doesn’t want to lose his family. For now, I am choosing to stay married to this cheater. Am I crazy?
