This is Captain Darlene Sych. She’s a self-entitled, condescending, and incompetent feminist Air Force Captain by day, and an amateur photographer and closet dork by night. Darlene spends her free time reading science fiction books, playing online Warhammer MMOs, smoking dope, and muff diving (she prefers the company of women). However, when she’s ovulating and in heat, she will say and do anything to get the one thing that she craves from men: sperm. Darlene’s on Tinder, Adult Friend Finder, Ashley Madison, you name it. She will take you out and do her best impression of a normal person. She’ll drive, because she wants you to drink as much as possible. Once she’s got you drunk, she’ll take you home for a bareback breeding session. Darlene will get exceptionally upset if you try to cover-up, or if you persist, she has her own protection (with a hole cut into the tip). She’s not particularly attractive, fun to be around, or successful, and she will try any trick in the book to jack your sperm. God knows that any sane and sober man would know better than to procreate with this self-important life vampire. If you do encounter her and your feel compelled to bang her, bring your own condom, and just as importantly, take it with you as well when you leave. Oh, and she likes it rough. You’re going to have to knock a tooth lose if you want to get her nipples hard.